Let the Rain Pour!

Wow! What an amazing last couple of weeks…sorry that I haven’t been around lately, it has really been an overwhelming time. I’ve found that often my feelings are often reflected in nature – all around me. Lately it’s been raining in NYC (and most of the NE) to the point where I feel as though God is “cleaning house” – getting rid of all the distractions, dirt and disgusting factors – so that we can clearly see the path that He wants us to take. Throughout the last couple of weeks, I engaged in conversations that challenged me to believe that my actual dreams can come true. Have you ever been challenged that way?


When everything you’ve been working for, preparing for…finally is within arm’s reach – it’s can be the most amazingly scary moment. It’s where everything can disappear if a hasty move it made. And, sometimes God knows that we’re ‘ill-equipped’ to make the right decision…or He’s just tired of watching us doing what’s right for “now” vs. what’s right for a “bountiful future” that he gives us a glimpse – but, ultimately makes the decision for us. I believe that He has done so for me…I’m grateful and thankful for His love and I’ve very happy that he always brings the rain so that His clear path can be chartered by His children.

Stay positive and be strong…

xoxo

Babies, Babies, Babies!

A week ago today, I was traveling back from DC where I spent the lovely weekend with my two older sisters (sisters from another mother :) and their babies. This was just a 'girls' weekend - with two little boys: Ian, who's three and Evan, who's 2-months old. The fathers and husbands (even those to-be) were not invited (Vikki from RHOC would be proud!!).

Throughout the weekend, I was reminded of the uncompromising and complete dedication a mother has for her children. Seeing my friends, having been transformed into these miraculous mothers, evoked a couple of emotions. One, I am so very thankful for my mother's love...I am undeserving and overwhelmed by her unselfishness. Two, I am so proud of these two women...who, not long ago were single and carefree ladies far from the responsibilities that are their lives today. I'm proud and amazed by their ability to accomplish their goals - being great mothers, wives, sisters and friends, with such grace and passion. And, three, I pray that God grants me the peace and maturity to be a tenth of all of the aforementioned women when the time comes for me and Frank to be parents. We're definitely NOT ready now...but, God willing, within the next couple of years...I hope that we welcome a healthy, beautiful baby that will grow strong in love from both of us.

Hollywood trivializes the sacrifice it takes to be parents. No judgment, but having lived with four children over the weekend, I realized that infants really do eat EVERY TWO HOURS, toddlers have more energy than IMAGINEABLE and tweens are so remarkably inquisitive and smart...you want to sit and talk with them for hours. These moms, REAL MOMS to me, don't have nannies to help...they don't want nannies to help...they want to be there for their kids and share these precious, fleeting moments of their childhood. It is this love and devotion that is so absent today...that it was so refreshing to experience firsthand.



Thank you Allie and Jana...Jordan, Ian, Addison, Evan...and always with us, Aiden.

I love you all!

xoxoxo

100 Layer Cake - Yummy!

As I mentioned so many times before, we have completely lucked out with our lovely stationary designer - Mimi Woo!  A truly passionately creative being, we were so happy to hear that the experience was equally rewarding to her. 

Asked to be a guess blogger for the 100 Layer Cake blog - with tips on how to 'craft your wedding, layer by layer' - we were happy that she chose to feature our Save-the-Date design.

Take a look and enjoy...

http://100layercake.com/blog/

xoxoxo

NYC Fashion Week - Say Goodbye to the Tents!

"Bryant Park became the beacon of what New York fashion stands or - an industry that's fearless, ireless and always moving forward." - Anna Wintour, Vogue

 This week as Fashion Week bids adieu to Bryant Park, it reminds me that everything changes - even when it has become an institution of greatness, it can always benefit from improvements. So, as all the world's fashionable make their way through the "most horrible winter in years" to catch a glimpse of merchandisable beauty, I'm hopeful that with the change of location, so will too, a change of perspective occur within the industry. Instead of talking about giving back to whatever this season's "in" cause, let's really make a difference in our hearts.

 Appreciate the beauty of fashion - but, realize that there are millions across the world that dream of having a simple piece of clothing to protect them from the indigenous elements - snow, rain or even sun! Let’s remember what’s important – love, faith and happiness.
 

That said, I’ll still post some photos from my favorite show so far this season! :)

Happy Wednesday!!


xoxo


 
 
 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hoooorrrrray for the Saints!!!!!

This weekend, I found myself so overwhelmed with the amazing performance and win of the New Orleans Saints in this year's Super Bowl.  I know that I'm not your average "football fan", but I was reminded of the lessons we learn as kids.  Good will, determination and faith will take you far in this life.  Believing in yourself and your "team" is the foundation you need to walk with confidence. 

I'm happy that I have God, Frank and the love and support of so many others (aka: "my Saints") ...it helps temper the times of stress.

My cup runneth over...

xoxoxo

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!!!

And the countdown begins….


As we are now in 2010, the excitement and ‘items being crossed off the list' begins.

It is so funny…last year, we spent all the time talking about and defining the aspects that we wanted to include in our wedding…now we’re spending time making it all happen. It’s amazing.


So, our site (http://www.joyandfrank2010.com/) has launched. Beautifully completed by the generosity from the team at Reindeer (www.reindeercompany.com) . We LOOOOVE our site – as it really helps to tell our family and friends all about us, how we met and starts to get them excited about the big event! It also alleviates our mothers from having to answer so many questions about the wedding - the hotel, the schedule of events, etc. As we continue, we hope to add to the site and provide people with tips and reminders so that they can truly relax and enjoy their time in Jamaica.


EXCITING NEWS!!

Our save-the-dates, completed by our designer, Mimi Woo (http://www.mika78.com/) went out last week!!! Yippee…with the connection to the website, our guests FINALLY get a taste of what’s in store and the vision of the wedding. All the positive feedback has been encouraging to us – it helps us know that our guests understand that we appreciate their participation, love and support. Even though the wedding is about US, the celebration is about everyone who joins us.

Which brings me to LESSON #2: Some people will be VERY upset when they don’t receive a save-the-date/invitation. And, nothing you (or your mama or your fiancé) say will make them feel better. I’ve read all the details, etiquette, etc regarding how to deal with these situations…for instance…all the advice suggests that you simply state, “my apologies…but, we’re having a small ceremony with only family can close friends…blah, blah, blah!!!! Let me tell you, it doesn’t work! People feel like, even though I haven’t spoken to you in 10 years, and even though you and I both know that I hate to fly, I STILL want an invitation. Urgh!!! It’s all so much! I would think… isn’t it etiquette not to question WHY one didn’t receive an invitation?!?!? Regardless, we’re working our way through all of this and hopefully will emerge unscathed and with all the key familial and personal relationships intact.


We’ve started the registry process – Frank’s being a great sport. Although he complains about getting up early on the weekends (his ‘days of rest’), once he’s there…and they give him a couple sips of ‘lively libations’ …he’s ready to scan all day long…lol! 

As we go through this process, it is more apparent to me how much I love this man, how much he loves me AND how great we are as a couple. All thanks to God…I think we’re going to be a wonderful team! I’m proud about how we make decisions, our candid conversations, how we resolve disagreements and begin to really love each others’ idiosyncrasies. In the beginning they were cute…and although we’ve moved beyond that phase…I’m happy that we still look at each other and fall deeper in love every day. I hope that I’m not jinxing us – but, I think we have a bright, happy and lovely future ahead of us.


One of our new rules – always take time for each other. So, attached are a couple of photos of my birthday surprise for Frank. He turned 41 (I know, he’s an old man…just kidding!!!) on January 3rd and I took him on a trip to Naples, FL. He’s always said how he wanted to kayak and relax. We did more of the second, since Florida was experiencing its coldest week in history! LOL!! We did get to kayak on Friday, but we also ate great food, had wonderful wine and experienced wonderful massages!

I hope we continue this tradition throughout our marriage and I think we’ll definitely visit Naples Bay Resort (www.naplesbayresort) again!

Photos posted are from that trip!

See you next month – February, the month of LOVE!!!

Love in Paradise!

A week ago, I was in Paradise (aka: Jamaica!)…now, I’m back in NYC with 2 feet of snow. Wow! What a difference a week makes! Last week, Frank and I journeyed to Jamaica to “test-drive” the locations we were interested in...in both Montego Bay and Ocho Rios.
 We loved the hospitality and generosity we received from the staff at all of the locations – Royal Plantation, Half Moon and Round Hill. The wonderful thing about Jamaica is its blend of old-world luxury with timeless glamour to make every experience special and memorable. After our week-long visit, we were certain that choosing Jamaica to host our wedding weekend was the perfect choice.


Each resorts’ offering was very compelling, and they treated us like kings and queens of the Universe! But in the end, we chose Round Hill (in Montego Bay) because:



It’s centrally located – it’s only 20 minutes from the airport.


Guests can easily and quickly be transported to a horseback trek, adventure sports course or a leisurely day of golf – the staff will arrange everything!


On site, the beachfront location offers all of our guests an oceanfront view as each hotel suite is steps away from the beach.


The villas – 4, 5 and 6-bedroom options - are ideal for an intimate gathering and to begin the tradition of an inter-family vacation.

The resort is like a slice of heaven – from the drinks (with rum, of course!), the food, the grounds and the interiors designed by Ralph Lauren (who owns a villa on-site) – we were overwhelmed with its beauty.


World-class spa where Frank and I enjoyed a 90 minute couples massage that rivals any that we’ve had in at some of the best spas in NYC. Need we say more?

 Finally, although we’re not having children in our ceremony, we’ve quickly grown to love the idea of having little ones join us for the weekend. There’s something about hearing those little voices discovering the sand, beach and water for the first time that we love. Round Hill has the Pineapple Kids’ Club – complimentary – for kids 3 to12 years old. It’s like camp for children where they could possible make friends for life.

 So, quickly we booked our date and put a deposit down on Round Hill for October 9th, 2010 (with 10.10.10 being in high demand, we needed to move quickly:)


It’s so surreal, everything is coming together and I’m really excited that at the end of the year we’ve completed the ‘save-the-dates’ and invitations. They are both being printed and we should receive the final save-the-dates right after the holidays!!!


As 2009 comes to a close, I start to realize that this time next year, I’ll be Mrs. Frank Altimare, III. WOW! I am so in love with Frank and excited to begin this next chapter of our life together. And, I realize that I’m very lucky (even though it can be a little stressful at times!) that he’s 100% involved in this planning process. It’s our first real project that helps me to know that as we move throughout life, our understanding of partnership will, hopefully, allow us to succeed as we collaborate as parents and spouses.

I wish you all the best this Holiday Season – safe travels, eat a lot and see you in the New Year!

(photo credit: all photos taken at Round Hill Hotel & Villas, Montego Bay)

Say "YES" to the DRESS!!

Well, there’s no turning back now. I have picked and purchased my dress. Yes, perhaps only the deposit (which was in itself the most money I’ve ever paid for a piece of clothing)…but, I’m not committed to not only Frank – but this beautiful garment. LOL!!!
 Knowing that Frank is reading my posts - and also some of guests, and wanting to keep the actual dress a surprise, I will only say that the weekend with my mom, new MIL, SIL and MOH made me realize that this Manhattan hasn’t made me that “hard”. Although I’m DEFINITELY not a princess, ball-gown girl…the beautiful softness that I loved as a little girl in Chattanooga, TN is still there. THANK GOODNESS!


Every day, I, along with my fashionable and stylish New York women, put on my “armor” of black, chic solid and crisp, tailored cuts to go out and conquer this city. I was certain that I would pick an equally suited wedding gown – just in white. Ha, ha, ha!


And I did try – believe me… I loved trying on gowns from Carolina Herrera, Oscar de la Renta, Pronovias, and Monique Lhuillier …but, I was pleasantly shocked to pick a dress that is a little more “girly”, softer and more “demure” than I had originally thought I’d like. Wow…everyday, I grow more and more …I’m surprising myself.


It was a great weekend, good for family and friends to get together, spend time chatting and learning about each other. They will be our new family – so having their support means a lot to both of us!


Photo credit: Since I can't show the photos of me in a wedding gown, I've attached a couple photos of the weekend's visit with the moms!

Reality is...setting in...

It’s really happening…Yes, I’m really getting married.

 This little piece of realization happened last week when Frank and I started to write the checks to confirm our stationary order for our lovely invitations. THEN, we spent the Saturday with our photographer taking our engagement photos. This was the truest moment – we are starting this path of partnership that will last a lifetime. It was an amazing day. Our photographer, Robert Munroe (munroephotography.com) is THE best – a great soul and wonderful company. We started in our apartment – on the roof, indoors on the stairs and in front on our brownstone’s stairs. Then, walking around our lovely neighborhood – Chelsea (NYC) – we took advantage of the natural beauty of the city.


Again, I cannot reiterate the importance of choosing the best vendors – we have the best photographer! He’ll be joining us in Jamaica (thank goodness!) where I know he’ll capture the passion, love and excitement of the 3-day celebration.


Well, that’s all for now…next week the moms meet in NYC for the first time to help me with the wedding gown selection! Stay tuned….I’m sure there’ll be some juicy gossip to report.

 
 
 
 
 
 
Photo Credit: More of our favorite shots from the engagement photo session/shoot!

Planning the Big Day!

And the planning continues…


In beautiful NYC, it has been a VERY exciting week where we’re inundated with visitors from all over the “Fashion Universe”. With restaurant reservations hard to come by and taxi cabs even harder …I have had a lot of time to plan, plan, plan.

And….can you believe it….my lovely fiancé, Frank, has even been hit by the excitement. Initially, we had an agreement of the 3 choice rule (remember my first blog?), but now he’s so excited that he’s started to conduct his own research and emails me interesting ideas or information. I’m not sure how much longer this will continue, but I’m going to appreciate the help while I have it. Any day, I’m sure, I’ll hear “Ok, I’m done…let’s just go back to the 3 choice agreement.” LOL!!!



I’ve made BIG strides over the last couple of weeks:



* Conference Calls with 2 of the 3 resorts that we’re considering. The choice is becoming clearer on what will work for our friends and family. But, we’ll know FOR SURE after our December site visit.


* Met with our website design team – they are AWESOME. A great friend of mine, Troy Benton, owns The Reindeer Company. They are an industry leading, strategically-grounded digital agency with great creative acumen. Although Reindeer is well known for their work on such brands as, goop.com, Patron and Sobe Life Water… as a generous wedding gift, he offered to complete our website. I am truly blessed to have such great friends!! So, last Friday, we met with two of his designers – Yuyu and Fan – who instantly understood our aesthetic, personalities and goal for the site. We agreed on timing, I supplied the assets and in January – look for our site to launch. REMINDER: Secure our domain name ASAP!!!


* Finalized our kick-off design meeting for our stationary suite – can’t wait to share with you where we net out. We know that Mimi’s going to do a fantastic job!

On Sunday, I went to the most amazing event for all brides. It was organized by the owner of Private Receptions, Nerissa Montemurro (privatereceiptions.com). Amazing is an understatement. For me, it reinforced all the information I’d gathered on my own, my organization method and provided an outlet for me discuss some key concerns with professionals within the industry. Funny…they all agreed…WORK WITH VENDORS WHO YOU LIKE AND WHO LIKE YOU! Seems simple and easy enough, but I’ve noticed that there are “not so nice” people in this industry who often come “highly recommended”. Just because you’re the “it” florist doesn’t mean that you’re right for me. I walked out of the Private Reception event feeling grateful for the vendors we’ve already selected and vowed to follow my gut instinct and only work with ‘nice people’. If you’re a planning a wedding, please check them out. In October, they are having a “Beauty Bar” event…check out www.bridalbeautybar.eventbrite.com for more information.

So, a busy couple of weeks and many more to come…still dreaming of the dress that I tried at CH. Thinking that it’s the one…stay tuned (and fingers crossed).


(photo credit: photos "out and about in NYC")

What to do in these early stages???? Try EVERYTHING!

So, this week…I enjoyed a great dinner with friends who were so excited to hear the news of my recent engagement. Lesson for all new brides: it’s great to tell people in small groups…you’ll never grow tired of telling the proposal story and the smaller groups provide a more intimate setting where you can really savor the well-wishes of your friends. 

 After a great dinner, I made a couple more appointments with bridal ateliers to try and find a gown. I’m even more confused than last week. I’m a very fashion-forward gal, some would say the “African American Carrie“ (from SITC, you know!)…but, I really want to feel like a bride on my wedding. Although I’m not a ball gown sort-of-girl, I’ve realized that I don’t want just any dress to where. So, in preparation for the October visit – where my mom, future MIL, MOH and future SIL will join me in NYC to make the final selection – I tried on a couple more selections. The October visit should be eventful, since it will be the first time the mothers meet. Frankie’s SOOOO excited that he doesn’t have to spend the day with us! Lol!!!

Again, the best tip I heard along the way…the initial fittings should be done alone. Really, you know what you like – and if you confuse yourself, you only have you to reason with! : )



Invitations
How lucky are we to have found an amazing designer who has an aesthetic similar to our own. Mimi Woo, the owner of mika78 (mika78.com), has such great collections to select from – we were overwhelmed. We’ve settled on the bespoke process – where she’ll design our stationary/invitations based on our personality, our destination and the theme of our wedding…how amazing!!

 Engagement Photos
So, I’ve found – I think, meeting with him tomorrow – the photographer to do all of our photos! From sopp to nuts: Engagement photo session, wedding weekend and newlywed photos. His online portfolio is perfection. A little caveat about our photos: Frankie and I have NEVER had professional photos completed as a couple. So, we both decided that we want our engagement photos to be well produced – a stylist, make-up artist, hairstylist, professional photographer. It’s a huge production – not recommended for the light at heart!!! We want a combination of in-studio and environmental shots. Hopefully this photographer is up to the challenge…lol!!!!


Now, my words of wisdom (even though I’m only a month into this planning process)…there is a disappointing side of wedding planning that NOONE tells you. Two things you should do immediately! 1. Create a budget. 2. Set expectations early of those you choose to help you in this process. Your wedding is MOST important to you, not to anyone else…not even your BFF! So, just because you’ve discovered the loveliest shade of purple that you think you want to weave throughout all your stationary – tell the designer designing your invitation. She cares…your BFF is just trying to get through the day with all her own activities that she cannot feign excitement once again about the "lovely shade of the day”…especially if she’s married with a teething infant and cranky 2-year old OR if she a high-powered executive on the edge of reason and working to secure her job in this ‘tanking economy’.


Thank goodness I learned these lessons sooner rather than later…whew!

(photo credit: my favorite photo of me and Frank on our recent trip to Paris)

Dresses, Dates and Destinations!

Hello fellow brides, soon-to-be-brides and those who love this crazy time of wedding planning!!! We are the “soon to be” Altimare’s. I’m Joy and he’s Frank (or Frankie, as I/his family call him). You’ll get to know us – and let me warn you, we are a little crazy! Crazy in love? Yes! And, just plain crazy : )

So welcome and join us on our journey as we plan this amazing celebration of our love for each other.

 The Proposal

What a loving and thoughtful man I’m marrying? As planned, Frankie and I set out on our annual summer vacation. This time, Frankie planned the entire event – we journeyed to the West Coast. A tour of all the national parks – Grand Canyon, Bryce, Arches, Monument Valley, 4 Corners, Lake Powell and Zion. It was a very ACTIVE trip, to say the least. Define active: every day, we hiked (at least 3 miles as day) and swam – which put us to sleep by 10pm. On average, we fall asleep in NYC never before 12am, so this trip WORE US OUT!!

Active and eventful – at the foot of Delicate Arch (in Arches National Park), Frankie dropped to one knee and asked me to spend the rest of my life with him. It was an amazingly overwhelming moment…one that connected us, spiritually, from that very instant.

We continued our journey back to NYC to tell all our friends and family – starting this crazy whirlwind of planning the biggest party of our lives.

 The first week of planning….dresses, dates and destinations!

Immediately returning from vacation, we were able to pop down to Philadelphia (Frankie’s hometown) to tell his family in-person. Turning into an impromptu engagement celebration, friends and family gathered at his parents to hear about the proposal . It was lots of fun – foreshadowing the INSANITY that is sure to exist at my reception!!!

Once I was able to catch my breath, I realized that although we want a very simple, classic, chic wedding – since we are planning a destination wedding, we – translation, I – have a lot to do! O-M-G!?!?!? Can I at least enjoy a moment to be engaged? I mean, I AM a 31 year old woman (uh-hum!), successful and focused. But, I’m from the South (Tennessee), so it could be safe to assume that I, along with my mother, grandmother, aunt, (girl) cousins and friends (since birth) have been waiting for this moment for…30 years! So, five minutes to take it all in was all I was asking.

 No way, no how!

 All the questions: “Do you have a date?, Where? Who’s going to be in the wedding? “ began to become the topic of every conversation that I had in the first couple of days of returning to NYC. “I have NO idea” is what I wanted to scream – although, I secretly had most the details decided in my head. Just needed to make sure (translation: convince) Frankie that he wanted the same thing.

Luckily, we came to a compromise. I will do the research (me and my small army of girlfriends who had all been recruited to ‘get this wedding in order’) and share with him the top 3 options. This will ensure that I love whatever choice we decide on …lessening (we hope!!) any arguments. I’m sure we’ll laugh about this ‘plan’ later when we’re in the middle of an argument over…flowers! LOL!!!

 So, what have I done thus far?

1. Created the guest list – already far over the 30 -50 people that we want. Trim, trim, trim…but, how?

2. Picked two dates (mid-late September 2010) for the wedding.

3. Picked the location for the wedding (Jamaica) and honeymoon (Italy). A nod to both of our heritages.

4. Picked the wedding party – contacted them and they said “yes”…thank goodness!

5. Created my own personal ‘task-force’ of professionals and experts to help me figure out where I need to focus.

6. Picked up a planning guide for destination weddings – NOT HELPFUL…it’s all generic common sense, so…

7. Hired a travel coordinator who specializes in destination weddings. This is the best idea. She knows all the locations, can suggest the best venues and resorts and negotiate the best prices for airfare and hotel. She’ll also help me by being the #1 contact for all my guests – both, the needy and self sufficient – and their travel needs. I LOVE her already!

8. Tried on dresses. I thought it would be better to go by myself for a pre-fitting to my favorite designer – Carolina Herrera. I mean, I know what I like. I thought that it would be better for me to go, try on a few, maybe decide on the silhouette, fabrics, etc. It was the MOST FUN!!! No one to tell me what they “think I should wear or what they wore at their wedding!” to influence my decision. Before leaving, I picked a date to bring my mother, future MIL and MOH to make the final decision (and appease everyone!).

Whew! I’ve been a busy bee… I deserve a glass of wine. Which I’ll go enjoy now and speak with you next week. Who knows what adventures I’ll have to share!

Peace and love, xoxo!

The Beginning...the Story of Us!

Hello Everyone!!!

Well, as most brides-to-be know...the time before you get married is one full of excitement and STRESS. One of the first things you realize is that not everyone cares as much about your wedding as you do - not your mother, your father, your maid-of-honor. The only one who could possibly care as much is your fiance - and he's only so much help because, let's face it, he's a man. He can only help you out so much (lol!).

So, I thought, how can I get all of my feelings out as well as, maybe, receive some helpful advice from others who have, or current brides-to-be??? The answer that so many women have found to be helpful...I'll create a blog. To be honest, this is a migration from a previous blog sponsored by a wedding publication. They asked me to author a monthly-blog...but, unfortunately they are now a casualty of the economy.

Nonetheless, I'll continue the journey..."journaling" my feelings and experiences. I am happy to have you. Just as a little homework, the first few posts will be sort-of a historical. They are the original posts from the aforementioned wedding publication. The newest one is titled "Happy New Year" (how appropriate :)

xoxoxo